Stunned Bastard Day

I’d like to take this opportunity to indulge myself in some self-pity and general curmudgeonism and dwell a little upon something that is rapidly becoming common knowledge in this elitist-spawned and driven society… the widespread and deliberate dumbing down and stupefaction of humanity.

I see it every day.  As a professional driver by trade, I’m forced to interact with a special kind of stupidity on our nation’s highways, the kind that increasingly gets people killed, and I’ve seen more than my share of it in the last 37 years.  Otherwise normal and intelligent people get into their vehicles and are instantly transformed into mindless morons, totally self-absorbed and indifferent to anything or anyone else around them.  Their tunnel vision, which, btw, does not extend past the hood ornament on their vehicle, is focused primarily on some vision of their ultimate destination… or on their IPhone or IPad, whatever they happen to have on hand.

One really does take their life in their hands when they venture out on today’s roadways.  I wonder how many even take the time to consider that the mass of plastic and metal encapsulating them would do very little to safeguard them from those other encapsulated idiots traveling past them at an average closing speed of 260 kph?  I can tell you from experience that there is very little left when that closing distance is compromised in any way!  In some cases, it would have been expedient to just drop the entire mess of vehicle and driver in a grave, together, rather than try and sieve through it all.

Inattentiveness has to be the worst sin going, out there, on the road.  People are becoming so conditioned to multitasking that they can’t seem to function at all unless they have several issues going at once.  It’s considered incompetence or failure if one isn’t constantly occupied every waking moment, burdened by reams and reams and gigabytes of information, most of it trivial and useless, so people take to the road dragging all of this extraneous and burdensome crap with them and still operate a motor vehicle, in the vain hope that they are somehow going to catch it all up by the time the weekend rolls around.  Why?

It’s been a slow but steady process, but, we’ve managed to get to the point where we have become just what our elitist masters want of us – to be their unquestioning and obedient chattel/slaves.  All that defines us, anymore, is our capacity to work and hold a j-o-b.  The first question you’re asked after the initial greeting is out of the way… “Are you working?”  If you’re not, God help you!  You’re INSTANTLY categorized a bum or some other miscreant and vilified.

This past May 8, I encountered what has to be one of the worst days in my 37 years as a professional driver for some of the most prolific days for encountering the doofuses of modern society.  Perhaps it was merely a timely summation of all of the years of witnessing stupidity all rolled up into a ball and set rolling upon the day that I perceived it, whatever, it was a real and honest to goodness gong show.  I won’t get into specifics, here, but, it was enough that I had to consider that mankind needs yet another chance to ‘reboot’, as it were, and take a day off from the everyday grind to sit in repose and consider how far we haven’t come in all these years.  I have decided that we need another statutory holiday and I want to call it “Stunned Bastard Day” in honor of all of us stunned bastards that seem to think that society has to be this way.

I mean… wtf?  WHY does it have to be the way that it is?  Answer: there is NO good reason why.  It’s the way it is, BECAUSE, we want it that way, so that makes us stunned bastards!  The appointment, the j-o-b, is NOT so goddamned important that you have to risk your skin and that of others to get there driving like a complete retard.  Yet, this is how the majority of us all seem to view our commitment to society, that OUR agenda takes precedence over everything and everyone else and that it HAS to be accomplished NOW!

I’ve seen many people die horrible and meaningless deaths that embraced this mentality.  The word “mental” definitely has a place in that term, cause that’s what people are whom drive that way.  Oh, I’ve done it, too, many times, still do it, occasionally, when I forget myself.  I feel I have no choice, because, my masters have that mentality and they call the shots.  Stupid thinking!    That’s why I feel that there should be a day we can set aside and not go anywhere, using those hours to reconsider just what it is that we are hoping to accomplish in this life before they shovel the dirt over top of us.  Make no mistake, we’re ALL going there, so what is the fucking hurry?  I guess some feel the need to get there ahead of everyone else, like on the streets.

Let’s just itemize a few of the ‘finer’ points of modern-day driving, here:

There’s the one we just touched upon… I call it Leader Of The Pack Syndrome, or  LOTPS.  You know the type… the one that tailgates you for miles, then, several yards from the light or stop sign, swerves out and roars past you, just to lock up the binders?  But, they’re ahead of you… mission accomplished.

Next, there’s the self-appointed road sweepers.  (SARS)  Those are the ones you see in winter when there is only one lane open on a four-lane highway, that, of course, are suffering from LOTPS and have to be ahead of everyone else, only now they feel it is their mission, even duty in life, to become highway maintenance personnel and travel their entire trip in the snow-covered lane, (we pros call it the “hammer lane”) thereby whiting-out all the other drivers content to stay on the traveled portion and not place themselves and their fellow motorists at risk.  Cars are bad enough, but, when you get some doofus in a big truck (Billy Big Rigger, we call him) that feels it’s his destiny to put us all in early graves, that decides that instant, ready-made blizzards are the order of the day, that’s when you get some real problems.

Then there are those that simply can’t get up early and always end up having to dress and eat their Cheerios, apply makeup, etc., whilst driving.  They are worse than drunks, in my view.  Entertaining to watch, but, potentially just as deadly.  I just call them fools.

My favorite moron are those that can’t merge into traffic from onramps.  Instead of adjusting their speed to that of oncoming traffic, even speeding up a tad to help facilitate the process, they come a-flying up to right until they get beside you, then SLOW DOWN, expecting you to bail them out of a situation they made for themselves.  Now, you have a potentially hazardous situation where they are running out of travel lane, and ten times out of eleven, you have a vehicle beside you on the other side preventing you from moving over.  The result is you either slam on the brakes to allow the fool to go in ahead of you, brake-checking those behind you, or run him right off the road, or he slows down and brake-checks the ones traveling behind him.  If you slow down and allow the twit to go ahead of you, he THEN immediately does what he should have done in the first place and guns it, leaving you in the dust!  That might seem trivial to a four-wheeler with an automatic transmission and no weight behind him, but, big trucks require a lot more effort and time to make adjustments in these cases.  Cripes, I HATE these assholes!

Of course, my overall gripe is that people simply drive too fast, these days.  They’re impatient, careless, thoughtless.  They’ll run over you as look at you.  Night driving has brought out a new species of cowboy that feels that he has to have the entire frontal area of his vehicle adorned with lights numbering in the realm of millions of candlepower, as if the stock versions they have aren’t lethal enough.  My older eyes can’t take that shit, anymore.  If these numbnuts have that much trouble seeing at night, maybe they should just stay the hell home?  Of course, it enables them to speed like they do in the daytime, thinking they’ll see the deer long before it wallops them in the windscreen.  It usually doesn’t make any difference at all, cause they’re usually absorbed with watching their IPhone or IPad, anyway.  I guess they can take solace in the fact they’re blinding me.  Maybe they should the consider the possibility I may be one of those pros that uses multiple log books and/or various prescription and non-prescription ‘enablers’ to keep going, may have just had a fight with the “ex” or the girlfriend, boss, whatever, perhaps that might temper their cowboy-ness or even give them pause to consider if they should be out there at all at that particular time?

So, I believe that a national day of rest is needed where everyone stays the hell home and contemplates their status in life, realizing the fact that they are simply herd animals being led around by their noses, being prepped for their eventual demise after contributing the best years of their lives to serving the super rich and helping make them even richer than before.  We all play the game, foolishly thinking that there is a place in the land of milk and honey for mere peons such as ourselves.  It doesn’t exist, this land, only in our wildest and most avarice-laden dreams.  The super rich are not going to relinquish their place at the top of the heap for such as we.  The only way you can get to their place in this reality is to be born into it… period!  So keep working those three and four jobs, folks, collect all of those things that only gather rust and dust and give your survivors something else to fight over when you croak.  You’re never going to be like THEM.

Stunned Bastard Day.  If it isn’t on your calendar, mark it.  Every May 8… from now till eternity.  The day you contemplate your true place in life.

Let’s get this going!


2 responses to “Stunned Bastard Day

    • True, but, then it would loose something in significance… kinda like Halloween and Christmas has, now that kids get pretty much everything they want when they want it!


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